Accusations of racism I’ve made this week

1.
Me: Why do you think that those guys need to hammer right now while we’re all trying to proofread the newsletter? I think I’m going to take it personally. I think those guys are racist.

Her: Um, those guys are all black.

Me: Yes, but they are racist against biracials.

2.
Dad: I thought you were going to call me yesterday.

Me: Yeah, I was going to but then I didn’t.

Dad: Why?

Me: Because you’re racist.

3.
(60-something well-to-do couple white walking their dog)

Me: Your dog doesn’t seem to like me.

Him: That’s weird.

Me: Have you considered that your dog might be racist?