When it comes to the craft that is stand-up comedy, one of the first things I learned was not to waste time with segue-ways (the literary device or the motorized "vehicles"). Due to my belief in the economy of words I have taken that advice to heart. But every now and then when I watch comedians I imagine what their segues would be. Here are some of the unsaid segue-ways I have overheard in the past couple of shows I've been to:

-- Speaking of men spurting mashed potatoes and gravy instead of cum, I work with kids...

-- Speaking of pancakes, growing up I didn't know what a racist was...

-- Speaking of the evils of George W. Bush, I am an amputee...

and my very own, from tonight:

-- Speaking of Jesus, I don't think it's appropriate to have sex with 16-year olds.