me: I’m going to send a sympathy card to Joaquin Phoenix.
you: Do you think he’ll get it?
me: I assume so.
you: Why would a sympathy card from you get to him?
me: Well, we’re connected.
you: You do know that having him as the wallpaper on your computer doesn’t make you connected.
me: I know that.
you: So, how are you connected?
me: I saw Martha Plimpton once, in midtown Manhattan.
you: and?
me: Martha Plimpton and Joaquin Phoenix were in that movie *Parenthood* together, and also Martha dated his brother, River. Our connection is electric.