Dear Joaquin Phoenix,

I see that today is your birthday.

Happy Birthday.

In reading about your birthday, I also see that you are 5'8" tall. Me too! We're the same height. I think that when I meet you I'll plan to wear heels--to make sure you're not the type of guy who would care that I'm taller than you sometimes. If you are the type of guy who cares about that then I'll take off my heels.

Kisses,
Alana

P.S. Congratulations on being cast as Johnny Cash in that movie. I am very excited about this. Don't fuck this up, Phoenix.