Comedy is a contact sport

Last night was one of those comedy nights. I just wasn't going to win. I wouldn't say I was phoning it in because I was working on new material. But I was standing there, with the mic in front of me and my notes next to me and I couldn't read my notes to save my life and I couldn't get the mic to be the height I wanted and so I just kept fiddling with the stand. And in my head I kept thinking, "stop fiddling with the mic stand and fix your notes" it was my mantra. But I didn't stop fiddling with the stand, and I didn't adjust my notes and instead I tried to raise the mic stand up an inch and managed to whack the mic against my lip.

I don't know if any of you have ever hit yourself in the face with a microphone, but I will tell you these things:
1. It's loud
2. You can't 'play it off'
3. It will draw blood