Today I am thinking I might be pregnant. I have been thinking through the plausibility of whether or not it is true, and here is what I've come up with:

Reason(s) I can't possibly be pregnant:
-My lesbian nature has precluded me from having sex with men in the past...well, let's just say...several years.
-Also my being in a committed relationship has precluded the aforementioned sex with men.
-Maybe those are really just one reason with two explanations.

Reason(s) I am most definitely pregnant:
My ankles are swollen.