If you want to be my girlfriend:

- Be good at remembering my schedule. This is something I am incapable of doing and I will constantly double-book myself or forget to go places if you don't remind me. It would also help if you don't tell me that you are remembering my schedule and reminding me of things because then each time you do it I can think of you with amazement and appreciation.

- Similarly, please be the sort of person who writes down phone numbers and addresses and keeps them. Do not be like me, who puts numbers into her cell phone and then deletes them and then needs them again and who asks someone for his/her address, writes it on the envelope that is being sent out and then keeps no record of the address. If you keep this sort of information, I will think of you as some sort of magic address machine, on top of all of the other good thoughts I will have about you.

- Have good armpits.

- Understand the need for giving and receiving the same number of kisses on each side of the face.

- Don't mind emptying the dish-drying rack because while I don't mind washing the dishes I hate to put them away, so when the dish rack gets full, and the top of the counter is also covered in drying dishes I will consider it impossible to wash any more dishes since it will not occur to me to put away the dishes myself.

- Also don't mind folding the socks.

- Laugh a lot and blush easily.

- Don't mind being poked at or grabbed by me. When I see your body parts--even clothed--I will think that they are inviting me to touch them. Also, don't mind being bitten.

- When I tell a pointless story, which will be most of the time, do not reply with "...AND?"