If there were a feeling sorry for myself award given out on a daily basis, today I would definitely be a candidate for the winning. If I do happen to win the award, I hope that it's in the form of a gift certificate to a place that I like as opposed to in the form of a trophy or plaque, both of which would just clutter my apartment. Unless it's a big trophy cup that is big enough for Elijah-the-cat to fit in and then I would put it on the floor in the bedroom between the hamper and the lamp and I would put a nice pillow in there and he would sleep in it and every morning when I woke up to pee at 6:00 I would look over and there he'd be, like a motivational poster all sleeping inside of a trophy. And I would think "You're a champ!" and I would get up and pee and then lay back down, a winner.