I would like to take this opportunity to publicly thank/curse Erin Judge for making me realize that this is the last week of August and that my comedy hiatus is over in T-3 days. I was going through life so happily, thinking such thoughts as "I don't have any shows until the last Friday of the month" and then voiced that brilliance to Erin over a drink last night. The look of "you are retarded-ness" on her face informed me that the last Friday of the month is only five days away.

Last night I had an epic dream involving my dear friend R**** and fancy toilets. I think I'm getting kinky in my old age.