Three times I've tried to write this post and each time I've been stymied by the blogger. I type to fast and click buttons without reading and voila, I've lost my post. And then again. And now here I am. I'm thinking about babies and how everyone seems to have them. Babies are the new black. It seems like everywhere I turn there's a lady preggers, or a little guy or gal slung over a shoulder, or a stroller being pushed around. My friends haven't started making new people yet. They're too busy getting married. Seems like a bunch of them are either pre-engaged, or quasi-engaged, or claiming-to-be-formally-engaged-even-though-I-haven't-been-told-and-are-now-complaining-about-not-having-a-ring, or engaged, or actually married, or committed-ed. I guess it's about that time in our lives. To be fair, it's not that many of my friends, but between Jenya and me, we have a lot of weddings to attend or hear about.

All the weddings make me more committed to not being married. It's been interesting being in a relationship, and watching my friends meet people, start dating, get serious and get engaged/married all while Jenya and I keep on doing what we're doing. I like it that way, I think. Jenya in her excitement for weddings has to put up with stick-in-the-mud me who can't understand the fuss, and would rather not have to deal with the hassle (not that I'm not happy for my friends, mind you, because I am). It feels like everyone moves so fast and I wonder what the rush is and then I keep seeing all these babies babies babies and I realize that the answer to my question is crying all around me.

I don't really want my friends to have babies because if they did it would mean they were parents, and parents only hang out with other parents, and they only talk about their babies, and they don't get enough sleep but it's not because we drank too many martinis after work every night this week. Parents get together in matching outfits on Father's Day. In my head marriage is the first step towards these people leaving me, because it means their next step is having kids and entering parent-hood and at this point in my life I can't imagine ever feeling the ping of maternal spark or the desire to have a big ole baby.

I suppose a mature person would just be happy that her friends were doing what makes them happy. Taking the steps they want to make in life. But I'm not that mature. I'm childish and I don't plan ahead. I think that I'm going to be left behind because I'm running an entirely different race. But I guess it's okay, because I never really liked my friends anyway.