The Lies.

Age: 7
Told by: My Dad
The lie: At a baseball game when I asked my dad what happened to the balls that were home runs. My dad told me that the ball went around the world and came back over the other side of the stadium. The next home run that was hit I sat looking for the other ball before realizing that play had resumed. I figured that it must happen faster than I could actually see it. It wasn't until going to an amateur game and seeing the ump put another ball into play that I realized I'd been had.

Age: 8
Told by: Laura
The lie: That it was bad to be awake at midnight. That if you were awake at midnight you should put your head, close your eyes and be quiet so that no monsters would get you. She told me this when she was spending the night at my house one weekend. We did this for a couple of minutes until we got bored and started playing again. When I said "Hey, it's still midnight, it's like 12:10!" she said "You only have to do it for the one minute." That seemed a little fishy to me.

Age: 9 to present
Told by: My dad
Lie: That I was named by the candystriper at the hospital.

Age: 11
Told by: Can't remember
Lie: If you're leaning against a wall and you put one foot on the wall, it signals to passers-by that you're a prostitute.

Age: 16
Told by: C****
Lie: That my exboy was gay. Apparently this was to upset me. It didn't.

Age: 21
Told by: Martha
Lie: That because she was a vegetarian, she only ate sides of vegetables at the BBQ joint. Two weeks later someone showed be a picture of Martha gnawing on a rib. So we broke up.

Age: 23
Told by: Jenya
Lie: That she always brushes her teeth after she takes a shower, when in fact I've only ever seen her brush her teeth before taking a shower. She claims that the statement was true at the time, but that she's since changed her tooth-brushing schedule.