Monday, June 02, 2003

I can't ever rest until I've poured all of my beer from the bottle into the glass provided. Usually I'd just as soon drink from the bottle, but sometimes the urge towards being civilized is too strong. When this happened I fill my glass as much as I can and take as many sips as I think it will take for me to be able to pour in the remaining beer. This action is repeated until I actually get it right and the bottle is empty. At this point I can begin drinking. You can keep talking to me while the above is taking place. I will listen to you absently and nod in all the right places, but if you want a true interaction wait until I get the smug look on my face. The one that shows I'm satisfied with myself for having accomplished such a feat. If you smile back I will start in on how I don't understand why twelve ounces of beer doesn't fit into what appears to be a twelve-ounce glass. Could it be the carbonation? You will nod back. You will probably put forth your own theory, which will probably be in the form of a question. Maybe it's not a twelve-ounce glass. Does it say anywhere that it's a twelve-ounce glass? Of course it doesn't. But that shouldn't stop the beer from fitting.