I have this tendency to do a particularly unhelpful thing. What I do is I think about daydream about things that I want to do and then I think about how far away I am from accomplishing those things. And then I get obsessed about how if I had started working on those things the first time I thought about them I would be so much farther along than I am now. And then I get mad at myself. And then I beat myself up about it for a little while. And then I have some ice cream. And then I think "If you would stop eating ice cream you wouldn't be continuing to balloon to disproportionate chubby-chub-chub-osity." And then I think that if I had started exercising and watching what I ate way back the first time I thought about it I would still fit into my clothes from last year. And then the cycle continues.

The beauty and ridiculousness of it is that I am fully aware of how unproductive this thought process is. And yet, it doesn't stop me from continuing to have it. I used to think that it was starting things that was the hardest part, but now I think that starting things is the hardest part, but only until you've started something, and then continuing to do it is the hardest part. I'm an Aries, you see, and I'm also the year of the dragon. I don't know if you believe in that astrological mumbo-jumbo, but both of those signs are known for things like leadership, short-sightedness, short-temperedness and stubbornness. Neither of them are known for things like endurance, or follow-through, or patience. And yes. That would be an accurate description of the Alana.

And so not only do I play out this same cycle of frustration, but I then get a bonus round second cycle. The one in which I beat myself up for still playing out the first cycle. More anger, more whining, more ice cream. etc. etc. etc.