A brief history of my watches, or... A step into the banal world of Me
Junior High: Swatch with Swatch-Guard. Also a watch with interchangeable wrist bands to match different outfits. (I, of course was much too lazy to ever change anything unless something broke)
High School: No watch. Although I did I read somewhere that most people wear their watch on the hand that they don't use for writing. Made a mental note that should I ever wear a watch I would wear it on the hand I use for writing, just to confuse the statisticians.
College: Continued wearing no watch until I started stage managing for theater. The stage manager needs to have a time piece. So I reluctantly walked over to the CVS and paid $2.99 for a digital watch from Jurassic Park. The wristband was camouflage and the face was pea green. The thing that made the watch so magical was that it had a face cover, which was the head of a velociraptor. The watch was called Spitter. I kept that watch through the rest of my college career, carrying it in my bag and putting it on when I was in rehearsals.
Post Graduation: I bought a stopwatch that I would wear around my neck on the rare occasions I needed to be responsible for something theatrical. Around that time I also got a pager, which meant that the time was always displayed on my left hip. Sometimes now I get phantom pager vibrations. I'll be walking along, or sitting down and I'll feel a vibration at my left hip. I'll instinctively reach down to check the number and remember that I haven't had a pager in four years.
1999: My parents gave me $500 to go clothes shopping. It was a birthday gift or something. One of the things I wanted was a new watch. Spitter's head had fallen off, and the battery ran out and I figured I should have at least one working watch. I went to the watch shop at the mall and found a watch I liked. Nike or something, for $25, but next to it was an even better watch for $40. And next to that and even better watch for $60. And so on and so on until I got to the Spoon. It was beautiful and all blue and I needed to have it even though it cost as much as the chair I bought the day before. So I bought it and I wore it every day. Until I forgot to keep wearing it.
2002: I managed to break the Spoon somehow and so I was left, again, watchless. This isn't good when you need to stick to a certain time limit on stage. Somewhere around that time I was chosen as a semifinalist for last year's Comedy Central contest. And part of my bag of shwag was a comedy central watch. Black rubber wrist band, platinum-type face--real classy. (Also included in the bag of shwag was a Comedy Central hat and a pair of Man Show boxers.)I started wearing it everywhere, partly because I thought it looked cool, and partly because it discreetly says Comedy Central on the face--which makes me cool. Of course I realized moments before walking onstage to do a tight five that you can't time yourself with an analog watch that doesn't actually have any numbers on it.
2003: Still needed a new digital watch. I started reminiscing to Jenya about Spitter, my favorite watch, and she found a similar watch but instead of Jurassic Park, it was Power Puff girls. You could change the cover to Blossom, Buttercup or Bubbles. I always choose the one who looks like a little dyke. That watch was good, but I can't really use it onstage either. I'd have to interrupt my set to flip up the cover on my watch. A little distracting. So I bought another digital watch. It's got a stopwatch feature and a timer and other things I haven't discovered yet. I like to wear it just because, even though it's not nearly so classy as the Comedy Central watch. What I've realized I do, though, is I always put it on and fasten it at the fourth hole in the wristband. That's the hole I use for the Comedy Central watch. A few hours later I realize that my watch is slipping around on my wrist so I tighten it a notch while thinking "huh, that's odd" and then a few hours later realize it's still too loose and I tighten it again. This goes on until I remember that the digital watch and the Comedy Central watch don't have the same wrist bands and then I begin to wonder why wrist bands don't have universal sizing.
Junior High: Swatch with Swatch-Guard. Also a watch with interchangeable wrist bands to match different outfits. (I, of course was much too lazy to ever change anything unless something broke)
High School: No watch. Although I did I read somewhere that most people wear their watch on the hand that they don't use for writing. Made a mental note that should I ever wear a watch I would wear it on the hand I use for writing, just to confuse the statisticians.
College: Continued wearing no watch until I started stage managing for theater. The stage manager needs to have a time piece. So I reluctantly walked over to the CVS and paid $2.99 for a digital watch from Jurassic Park. The wristband was camouflage and the face was pea green. The thing that made the watch so magical was that it had a face cover, which was the head of a velociraptor. The watch was called Spitter. I kept that watch through the rest of my college career, carrying it in my bag and putting it on when I was in rehearsals.
Post Graduation: I bought a stopwatch that I would wear around my neck on the rare occasions I needed to be responsible for something theatrical. Around that time I also got a pager, which meant that the time was always displayed on my left hip. Sometimes now I get phantom pager vibrations. I'll be walking along, or sitting down and I'll feel a vibration at my left hip. I'll instinctively reach down to check the number and remember that I haven't had a pager in four years.
1999: My parents gave me $500 to go clothes shopping. It was a birthday gift or something. One of the things I wanted was a new watch. Spitter's head had fallen off, and the battery ran out and I figured I should have at least one working watch. I went to the watch shop at the mall and found a watch I liked. Nike or something, for $25, but next to it was an even better watch for $40. And next to that and even better watch for $60. And so on and so on until I got to the Spoon. It was beautiful and all blue and I needed to have it even though it cost as much as the chair I bought the day before. So I bought it and I wore it every day. Until I forgot to keep wearing it.
2002: I managed to break the Spoon somehow and so I was left, again, watchless. This isn't good when you need to stick to a certain time limit on stage. Somewhere around that time I was chosen as a semifinalist for last year's Comedy Central contest. And part of my bag of shwag was a comedy central watch. Black rubber wrist band, platinum-type face--real classy. (Also included in the bag of shwag was a Comedy Central hat and a pair of Man Show boxers.)I started wearing it everywhere, partly because I thought it looked cool, and partly because it discreetly says Comedy Central on the face--which makes me cool. Of course I realized moments before walking onstage to do a tight five that you can't time yourself with an analog watch that doesn't actually have any numbers on it.
2003: Still needed a new digital watch. I started reminiscing to Jenya about Spitter, my favorite watch, and she found a similar watch but instead of Jurassic Park, it was Power Puff girls. You could change the cover to Blossom, Buttercup or Bubbles. I always choose the one who looks like a little dyke. That watch was good, but I can't really use it onstage either. I'd have to interrupt my set to flip up the cover on my watch. A little distracting. So I bought another digital watch. It's got a stopwatch feature and a timer and other things I haven't discovered yet. I like to wear it just because, even though it's not nearly so classy as the Comedy Central watch. What I've realized I do, though, is I always put it on and fasten it at the fourth hole in the wristband. That's the hole I use for the Comedy Central watch. A few hours later I realize that my watch is slipping around on my wrist so I tighten it a notch while thinking "huh, that's odd" and then a few hours later realize it's still too loose and I tighten it again. This goes on until I remember that the digital watch and the Comedy Central watch don't have the same wrist bands and then I begin to wonder why wrist bands don't have universal sizing.
Alana wrote this crap at
7:54 AM
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