I thought having an office would be different. I thought it would be like in Working Girl. I'd have my over-processed bleach blond hair, and my construction worker style lunch box. I thought I would stare out the window, watching the water and the cars with my feet up on the table. I thought that I would close my door to take personal calls. I thought I'd drive my Mercedes Benz to work and suddenly give a shit about corporate culture. I guess the truth is I never thought I'd have an office. I never thought I'd have a cubicle either. But I somehow ended up in the corporate farm trying to make some money so I can support my so-called artistic life.

I share an office with a workaholic. She strives to help and I think this is a good quality for an Administrative Assistant. It's not my aim. My aim is to accomplish the tasks that people request of me without seeking out any new tasks. My aim is to take a lunch break every day and to leave work on time. My aim is to not be considered anyone's "go to girl." My aim is to be the Administrative Assistant that people go to AFTER they've thought, "Is this really a question I should be asking an Administrative Assistant.

My aim is to not be an Administrative Assistant or to work in an office other than the one in my home. The one on the third floor of my house overlooking the woods, even though I live in a city. I imagine spending my days writing and taking meetings with important people about important funny things I have written. I will take breaks to walk the dogs and eat snacks. I will call friends on the phone to make the chit-chat, and then at night I will go watch comedy or play poker or see theater or read in bed. I will have a pair of Britney Spears signature Sketcher roller skates and sometimes I will go roller skating in them.