I haven't written any porn-kus since Valentine's Day, so I thought I would write a few in honor of my favorite people to obsess over:

Lancelot Freud:
My deepest secrets
I have entrusted to you.
So now I hate you.

Paula Abdul:
I remember you.
Dancing with that cartoon cat.
Forever MY girl.

And of course:
Oh, Patrick Swayze.
Please put me in a corner.
Even though you're 50.