Okay, I'm not waiting until I feel better. I am sharing. So you know what kind of a person I am.
I am cranky. This is not news. I was cranky when I woke up this morning and I proceeded to be cranky through my half-assed shower. I then proceeded to be cranky as I wrote in my journal, and then I got more cranky because all I was doing in my journal was complaining, and my biggest fear is that I am becoming a miserly curmudgeon.
Then I took my cranky self to the subway where I crankily read the newspaper and why is it that the news consists almost entirely of finger-pointing? Finger-pointing is not news. Finger-pointing is junior high school behavior. Finger-pointing does nothing to reassure the families and friends of the ninety-seven people killed in the fire in Rhode Island. Finger-pointing does nothing to get us any closer to a peaceful, or any, resolution with Iraq.
Next I brought my cranky self into my office building and sat down at my desk. I then jotted out the blog post that I posted earlier. I then felt inspired to do this, because everyone should have a chance to see that brilliant logo that Blaine made at least once in your life, and I really wanted to write a haiku about McRib.
Then my cranky self proceeded to attempt to print out the thirty documents I need to work from, but the computer kept giving me an error. Then my cranky self realized that someone was printing THE WORLD'S LONGEST report to my printer. And that document was preventing me from printing my documents. And so I had to hate whomever was printing out that report. I then had to complain to Dyke Lisa about how someone was printing four inches of paper to the printer. My cranky self then went about my business for half an hour waiting for the document to be done. My cranky self then printed out my thirty documents, which took another twenty minutes. My cranky self then got mad because the report-printer had still not picked up his/her report. My cranky self then felt a need to take a ruler and measure the thickness of the report, in order to prove some point to myself. The point I have proven is that someone printed out 2 1/4 inches of paper an hour ago and has still not picked it up, and I therefore hate that person.
And I thought you might like to know.
I am cranky. This is not news. I was cranky when I woke up this morning and I proceeded to be cranky through my half-assed shower. I then proceeded to be cranky as I wrote in my journal, and then I got more cranky because all I was doing in my journal was complaining, and my biggest fear is that I am becoming a miserly curmudgeon.
Then I took my cranky self to the subway where I crankily read the newspaper and why is it that the news consists almost entirely of finger-pointing? Finger-pointing is not news. Finger-pointing is junior high school behavior. Finger-pointing does nothing to reassure the families and friends of the ninety-seven people killed in the fire in Rhode Island. Finger-pointing does nothing to get us any closer to a peaceful, or any, resolution with Iraq.
Next I brought my cranky self into my office building and sat down at my desk. I then jotted out the blog post that I posted earlier. I then felt inspired to do this, because everyone should have a chance to see that brilliant logo that Blaine made at least once in your life, and I really wanted to write a haiku about McRib.
Then my cranky self proceeded to attempt to print out the thirty documents I need to work from, but the computer kept giving me an error. Then my cranky self realized that someone was printing THE WORLD'S LONGEST report to my printer. And that document was preventing me from printing my documents. And so I had to hate whomever was printing out that report. I then had to complain to Dyke Lisa about how someone was printing four inches of paper to the printer. My cranky self then went about my business for half an hour waiting for the document to be done. My cranky self then printed out my thirty documents, which took another twenty minutes. My cranky self then got mad because the report-printer had still not picked up his/her report. My cranky self then felt a need to take a ruler and measure the thickness of the report, in order to prove some point to myself. The point I have proven is that someone printed out 2 1/4 inches of paper an hour ago and has still not picked it up, and I therefore hate that person.
And I thought you might like to know.
Alana wrote this crap at
8:53 AM
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