I have this theory that people are making fun of my emotions. This is the source of my base-level mis-trust for any therapist that I have ever had, as well as my reluctance to be emotionally communicative to most people. Take Lance, for example. His job as my therapist, as I understand it, is to support me in whatever the hell I am working on. He does a good job of this. However, in my head, he spends the 167 hours a week that I am not in his office thinking about how I am moronic and petty and privileged and emotionally stunted. In fact, I'm pretty sure this is a factual account of his week. It is filled with thoughts of me. So many thoughts about me that he is forced to go on a sabbatical this summer, but he isn't really going on a full sabbatical, but rather an Alana-sabbatical.

This morning I was telling him about how he thinks I am boring, and he kept referring to his "theoretical feelings" i.e., the ones I was assigning to him. And now I know that he is thinking "Thank goodness I came up with that T.F. line. But she's on to me. Must. Be. More. Careful."

The End.