My girlfriend has taken to not using direct nouns in speech. The other day we were having a talkand she said, "I think that we are doing better about that thing we were talking about last week. I mean, we haven't really talked about it since then, but doesn't at least that part seem better?" I said, "you're awesome." Last night she had a similar brilliant un-understandable statement, but I can't remember what it was. This paragraph would have been so much funnier if only I could remember what it was. Maybe she will read this and remember and add it as a comment.
Last night she and I proved to ourselves and the world that we are classy broads. We were eating fancy pizza for dinner (she made it: leeks, spinach, garlic, mozzerella and bleu cheese [this pizza was good, but would have been better with gorganzola rather than bleu cheese. She disagrees, preferring the milder taste of bleu cheese, but she is wrong]) and were going to have wine with our meal. She grabbed the bottle of red wine we hadopened over the weekend and poured the remainder of it into two glasses (at this point I would like to tell everyone about the wine stop that I purchased. It is crystal, and it is a naked lady. It is high class and so big that you can't put it on the top of a bottle and expect that bottle to fit in the refrigerator. The two best things about this naked lady wine stop are: 1. she has a hot belly and 2. J**** laughed at me when I brought it home, but I know that despite her mockery she thinks it's cool just like I do, which is why she always uses it herself). She took a sip of her glass and thought that the wine might be a little "off" and then she continued drinking. I asked if it was so off we shouldn't drink it. "Is it any good?" I wanted to know. She decided that in fact, no, it wasn't worth drinking. And so we opened another bottle of wine.
This shows that we are high class for the following reasons:
1. Did not feel the need to finish the bottle over the weekend
2. Did not feel the need to finish that bottle last night, because it wasn't so good.
3. Had another bottle of wine ready to open
4. Didn't finish that second bottle of wine last night EITHER (it now has the naked lady wine stop in it)
Last night she and I proved to ourselves and the world that we are classy broads. We were eating fancy pizza for dinner (she made it: leeks, spinach, garlic, mozzerella and bleu cheese [this pizza was good, but would have been better with gorganzola rather than bleu cheese. She disagrees, preferring the milder taste of bleu cheese, but she is wrong]) and were going to have wine with our meal. She grabbed the bottle of red wine we hadopened over the weekend and poured the remainder of it into two glasses (at this point I would like to tell everyone about the wine stop that I purchased. It is crystal, and it is a naked lady. It is high class and so big that you can't put it on the top of a bottle and expect that bottle to fit in the refrigerator. The two best things about this naked lady wine stop are: 1. she has a hot belly and 2. J**** laughed at me when I brought it home, but I know that despite her mockery she thinks it's cool just like I do, which is why she always uses it herself). She took a sip of her glass and thought that the wine might be a little "off" and then she continued drinking. I asked if it was so off we shouldn't drink it. "Is it any good?" I wanted to know. She decided that in fact, no, it wasn't worth drinking. And so we opened another bottle of wine.
This shows that we are high class for the following reasons:
1. Did not feel the need to finish the bottle over the weekend
2. Did not feel the need to finish that bottle last night, because it wasn't so good.
3. Had another bottle of wine ready to open
4. Didn't finish that second bottle of wine last night EITHER (it now has the naked lady wine stop in it)
Alana wrote this crap at
7:32 AM
<< Home