I was so bored at work yesterday my hobby became getting mad at things. Just anything. Today I have vowed to give myself a project to do in my (ever-growing) down time. If you have any suggestions, let me know. No, really. Something I can do at my desk.

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In getting my set ready for the Montreal showcase this weekend I have had the following exchanges with my fellow comedians:

Exchange #1. Wednesday night at the Comedy Studio. Individual conversations took place at various intervals throughout the night. All initiated by Comedian A. (Note: Comedian A is not me, I am "Me")

Comedian A: (in greeting) I think you are the bomb. When you become bisexual, I will marry you. (emphasis mine)
Me: I will keep that in mind.

later, just after I've gotten offstage and am putting my recorder and notepad away

Comedian A: So, if I want your number, do I need to not have a penis?
Me: It would help.

later, just after he's gotten offstage

Comedian A: Are you really a lesbian?


Exchange #2. Thursday night at the Walsh Bros. Great and Secret Show. Exchange took place as a greeting with Comedian B, just after the show ended.

Comedian B: What's up, Alana?
handshake
Me: Not much, Comedian B? How's it going?
Comedian B: Is it okay that I want to punch you in the stomach?
Me: Hard?
Comedian B: Yeah, like, really hard. In the stomach. It's not about you, I'm just a freak that way.
Me: Don't punch me in the stomach, Comedian B.
Meanwhile, just behind me, another comic (Comedian C) is making a joke featuring me as the subject
Comedian B: Is Comedian C giving you a hard time?
Me: Yeah, are you going to punch him in the stomach?
Comedian B: No. Pause Can I pull the buttons off your coat?
Me: How drunk are you, exactly?