Stop Thief!
Originally Posted: 3/28/2002
It’s lucky I’m able to write to you like this today. I mean with this pen and this piece of paper in particular—because they were stolen yesterday, along with the rest of the contents of my bag.
“But Alana, I don’t understand! If those things were stolen, how is it that you got them back?” Well, that’s where Ryan, and the rest of security at Filene’s step in.
Picture this—it’s Wednesday at 4pm, just hours before sundown and the beginning of Passover. I’m at the MAC counter at Filene’s getting ready for my makeup consultation (I have a photo shoot for new headshots this weekend.) I set down my things, and five minutes later, when I get up and look at foundations I notice that my bag isn’t where I thought I put it. Which leads me to the logical conclusion, “I must have left it at work..” Just as I come to this internal realization I am surrounded by 5 burly men who ask me if I was sitting over there—I was—and telling me to come with them, they’re with security.
So I’m thinking that they’re thinking that I have a bomb in my bag. The aforementioned Ryan introduces himself to me and informs me that “what happened is, that woman stole your bag.” So now I’m thinking that I’m part of one of those test case scenarios they run at places (Like the one at the Tokyo zoo where they had a mock animal escape in which a guy dressed as a Polar bear wreaked havoc on zoo-goers and zoo-curity alike.)
No, it turns out that some woman actually did steal my bag, and security apprehended her and recovered my bag before I even knew what happened. They sat me down, asked me if I wanted to press charges and told me it would be a couple of minutes while they filled out some paperwork.
A couple of minutes became forty and I was invited up the stairs to the security office where I was asked not to walk back more than five feet because I was not permitted to see my bag thief. Apparently what took so much time was their taking an inventory of everything in my bag. Next was the value interrogation:
Them: How much is this bag worth?
Me: $25
Them: OK. How much is your cell phone worth?
Me: $10. I travel light!
Them: Yes. You have $55 in cash, does that sound right?
Me: Uh-huh
Them: It looks like you need a new wallet
Me: My best friend made me that wallet. It’s hand-sewn
Them: Yes, exactly. You’re at Filene’s, you can get a wallet for $5 with the coupon.
Turns out my bag and its contents were worth just over $400 (who knew!) plus the credit cards (not that anyone could get very far with my credit). I made it out of Filene’s in time to get some flowers and head to seder. Happy Passover everyone
Originally Posted: 3/28/2002
It’s lucky I’m able to write to you like this today. I mean with this pen and this piece of paper in particular—because they were stolen yesterday, along with the rest of the contents of my bag.
“But Alana, I don’t understand! If those things were stolen, how is it that you got them back?” Well, that’s where Ryan, and the rest of security at Filene’s step in.
Picture this—it’s Wednesday at 4pm, just hours before sundown and the beginning of Passover. I’m at the MAC counter at Filene’s getting ready for my makeup consultation (I have a photo shoot for new headshots this weekend.) I set down my things, and five minutes later, when I get up and look at foundations I notice that my bag isn’t where I thought I put it. Which leads me to the logical conclusion, “I must have left it at work..” Just as I come to this internal realization I am surrounded by 5 burly men who ask me if I was sitting over there—I was—and telling me to come with them, they’re with security.
So I’m thinking that they’re thinking that I have a bomb in my bag. The aforementioned Ryan introduces himself to me and informs me that “what happened is, that woman stole your bag.” So now I’m thinking that I’m part of one of those test case scenarios they run at places (Like the one at the Tokyo zoo where they had a mock animal escape in which a guy dressed as a Polar bear wreaked havoc on zoo-goers and zoo-curity alike.)
No, it turns out that some woman actually did steal my bag, and security apprehended her and recovered my bag before I even knew what happened. They sat me down, asked me if I wanted to press charges and told me it would be a couple of minutes while they filled out some paperwork.
A couple of minutes became forty and I was invited up the stairs to the security office where I was asked not to walk back more than five feet because I was not permitted to see my bag thief. Apparently what took so much time was their taking an inventory of everything in my bag. Next was the value interrogation:
Them: How much is this bag worth?
Me: $25
Them: OK. How much is your cell phone worth?
Me: $10. I travel light!
Them: Yes. You have $55 in cash, does that sound right?
Me: Uh-huh
Them: It looks like you need a new wallet
Me: My best friend made me that wallet. It’s hand-sewn
Them: Yes, exactly. You’re at Filene’s, you can get a wallet for $5 with the coupon.
Turns out my bag and its contents were worth just over $400 (who knew!) plus the credit cards (not that anyone could get very far with my credit). I made it out of Filene’s in time to get some flowers and head to seder. Happy Passover everyone
Alana wrote this crap at
12:47 PM
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