The first time I remember getting irrationally mad was my senior year in college. This isn’t to say that I had never been irrationally mad before then, I just didn’t have the self-awareness to realize it. Come to think of it I only figured it out in hindsight, and because the recipient of said irrational anger informed me of it.

The first time I remember being irrationally mad was the time when Martha told me that Doogie Howser was ugly. We were sitting in her dorm room when an ad for *Starship Troopers* came on. The first movie Doogie did since Doogie was Doogie. Martha told me he was ugly and I informed her that she was rude and shouldn't say things like that, and had to count to 14 because I was so angry. Made angrier because Martha was staring at me and laughing.

Unexplainable anger is now referred to, by Martha and me, as "Doogie Howser mad." The breaking point, the point at which anything said by anybody might make you cry is called "there's no soup" for the time our junior year when I burst into tears when the guy behind the counter at Georgina's told me just that.

Jokes not laughed at over the Instant Messenger merit a phone call saying "HELLO, why didn't you type 'haha' at my joke!?!" And during any phone call between the two of us in which there is a lull, it is required that the person who initiated the call shout "WHY DID YOU CALL ME?"

These are the rules of our friendship.